Potty Talk: Toilet Philosophers – The Tufts Daily
Historian and philosopher Howard Zinn asked, “What is quality? Obviously, the philosophy department at Tufts University doesn’t care. Its headquarters, Miner Hall, is home to two options for bathroom enthusiasts – or students tired of hearing about Marxism (kidding, kidding, Tufts students never get tired of that). The two spaces offer a study in contrasts.
For a more family-friendly experience, we recommend venturing downstairs. Just outside the bathrooms, there’s a comfortable, albeit dated, sofa and a well-proportioned kitchenette. The comfort, however, is only fully appreciated when you step into the bathroom. Apparently built by PT Barnum himself, this sink’s Seussian piping system and turn-of-the-century woodwork might convince you that those shoes in the stand next to you belong to Ralph Waldo Emerson himself.
The stalls are the perfect size for a preschool. They’re on such a scale, in fact, that they don’t even give you the option of pulling your phone out of your pocket, perhaps a slight push from the Philosophy Department to forgo the usual pre-erasing of doomscrolling. in favor of contemplating the difference between a toilet and a bowl.
Once out of the confines of your cell, you might find the wainscoting and say to yourself, “Huh, what a strange wainscoting.” Then you’ll turn to a wall more crowded than Dewick at 11:49 am on a Tuesday due to “supply chain disruptions” and a “well-publicized labor shortage.” (Well my God, maybe it’s because you fire them every summer.)
Once you’ve read all of the literature provided on the wall, you pivot to a sink that threatens tetanus. Its powerful, poorly distributed flow is likely to cause a lot of flashbacks – not exactly what you want to sound like when you come back to metaethics.
When you step out of the bathroom on the men’s side, you’ll notice a man’s headless body – or, as the proudly states it, an ‘me’ – and realize you should have known that something was wrong. was not going from the start.
For those who prefer not to feel like a mime in training, there are the men’s and women’s restrooms on the ground floor. It is, to put it mildly, cavernous. Oddly enough, there are three chained people facing the wall and a light shines in front of them. A strange setting for a toilet.
Aside from the Platonic reenactment, however, we have no serious complaints. The bathroom is as spartan as Thoreau’s cabin, with white tiled walls and floors the same reddish color as the rust that eats away at the downstairs sink.
As you sit on the toilet, you can gaze longingly through the large, unobstructed window and see engineering students bustling around the SEC, revealing where all the money has gone for repairing humanities facilities. . On a clear day they could watch you and giggle in their Kindlevan paninis while all you have to rest your laurels on is dope paneling and a well-proportioned kitchenette.
Miners’ room downstairs: 2/10 – it led us to a Nietzschean conclusion: God is dead. +1 for the character however
Miner Hall all genres: 5/10 – large but encumbered with an existential crisis